nerdz

PeeJ noted this link to The Nerd Handbook:

Really it’s a couple of pages describing how to meaninfully interact with a nerd who is painted for the most part as being a borderline Autistic with directional (and somewhat immutable) focus.

…control issues mean your nerd is sensitive to drastic changes in his environment. Think travel. Think job changes. These types of system-redefining events force your nerd to recognize that the world is not always or entirely a knowable place, and until he reconstructs this illusion, he’s going to be frustrated and he’s going to act erratically.

The stresses of “the real world”, where people are erratic and inconsistent, lie, cheat, grandstand, self-promote and generally act in socially acceptable ways is just not where my comfort zone is. I like to be with people I know and trust. While PeeJ may consider me to be present the air of being obnoxious (and he’s probably right), there’s a much more complex interplay here as despite the fact I don’t communicate well (his word was ‘atrociously’) I’m not doing too badly. I think.

The ability to instantly context switch also comes from a life on the computer. Your nerd’s mental information model for the world is one contained within well-bounded tidy windows where the most important tool is one that allows your nerd to move swiftly from one window to the next. It’s irrelevant that there may be no relationship between these windows. Your nerd is used to making huge contextual leaps where he’s talking to a friend in one window, worrying about his 401k in another, and reading about World War II in yet another.

Yup. Which is why I can have the SlingPlayer open, while surfing the web with Godlike open at page 285 and email and IM conversations going. It may not be efficient but it gives me happy. It’s hard for other people to understand this and it often seems untidy because, by extension, we really ‘need’ 30″ high resolution screens attached to our laptops to keep everything visible and a large desk with our papers, books and pet projects. Our attention may wander to any one of these things (and I believe it’s part of the good procrastination thing that I’ve talked about before).

Your nerd might come off as not liking people. Small talk. Those first awkward five minutes when two people are forced to interact. Small talk is the bane of the nerd’s existence because small talk is a combination of aspects of the world that your nerd hates.

I had a rather negative experience of this recently where it was assumed that when I met her friends I’d automatically embarrass her because I’m not interested in football or cars. I am, however, interested in computers, technology, gadgets, business and suchlike and a lot of other guys are too. This was highlighted a couple of weeks later when we went out for dinner with one of my friends and his wife. We geeks successfully stayed away from our geek topics while the conversation steered itself around shoes, hair, weddings, holidays and other essential stuff and the only references to our nerdish tendencies was when the womenfolk brought them up. These geek things were, after all, the reason we were in a nice restaurant, eating nice food and having good conversation.

If you’ve got a seriously shy nerd on your hands, try this: ask him how many folks are in his buddy list? How many friends does he have in Facebook? How many folks are following him on Twitter? LiveJournal? My guess is that, collectively, your nerd interacts with ten times more people than you think he does.

I would agree absolutely that I interact daily with more people during my downtime at home than I do during my work day and also any other time. My buddy lists are huge and used every day. I twitter. I blog. I receive and respond to emails. I run more than one forum. Social skills? Yeah I got them. It’s again back to the small talk.

Looking back earlier this week to a wedding I attended, I don’t think it was immediately apparent that I was a geek though I was and so were my friends there. Geeks aren’t bad at all – they have incredible attention to detail and, unlike a lot of other sorts of people, they do have passion for things. Passion is something sadly missing in most people’s lives (or if they have it, it’s for the beer or the football which I consider to be unconstructive).

I’m not going to sweat it. The people I love, love me for who I am now. Though I admit that I dress (and smell) a lot better since her indoors came on the scene. I even like aftershave now…